Angel
by SynfulRegrets
Summary: Major spoiler! If you don't know how the manga ends up to book six, then don't read! If you want to spoil the whole series for yourself, then do read, but I warn you.


Disclaimer: Don't own it.

A/N: Ok, so if you don't know how the manga series ends, then this will be a big spoiler for you. If you've seen the end of the anime, then you will know what I'm talking about, but if you haven't, then watch it first before reading this. It is quite shocking if you haven't read or seen Loveless. I will not be responsible for any regret that you will face if you read this, just so you know.

This does not go exactly with the manga, since I haven't exactly read it all yet, only book five and a friend spoiled everything for me and told me what was going to happen. It's my way of things, but it does spoil a lot of things.

Oh, by the way it was inspired by an amv of Loveless that I downloaded, so that's why it's called angel. It's after the song, that I believe fits the song perfectly, but I don't write song fics. It's not my style, and I do ask that you not blame me for the angst. It's not my fault.

* * *

**Angel**

It was night time, the sun had set hours ago and the air was chilly. I leaned up against the wall, waiting for it. Waiting for death. I was going to face this and not run, not like I wanted to deep inside. I had already lost everything so I am here waiting for death to come to me.

I saw Soubi's form coming in my direction and smirked. He was here to finish it. To finish his orders that Seimei had ordered. He was here to kill me like the good dog that he was.

It had been a while since Seimei had come back to us, and he even had a new fighter. Neither Soubi nor I liked his new fighter. I believe his name was Akame Nisei, and he was even more conniving than Seimei.

That's right, I think my brother is conniving and not as great as he used to be. After all, I forgot what he was really like because of the amnesia, but now that I have flashbacks of the past, I see what everyone was talking about. He was obsessive and somewhat disturbed back then when I was still younger. He even had more love for me than he should have for a brother, but that's not what got me.

When Seimei first returned, I was shocked since I was told that he was dead, but then I thought of the dream that I had. It showed me what would happen and that Seimei wasn't dead. In fact, that dream was dead on about the things that were occurring. That's when I got to thinking that Soubi was going to go back to Seimei. He does after all belong to Seimei and was never mine to begin with.

Of course Soubi would follow the orders of his true master and kill me and everyone else when told to. Yes, Soubi was going to be the one to kill us all, even though he said he couldn't. He was lying, but I didn't know that then. I was still confused and naïve at the time and he had been the only one there. After all, he was the closest thing to love that I had.

After Seimei came back, everything was chaotic and a big blur. Akame Nisei had gone so far as to follow me and give Seimei a report of my daily life. Soubi ran into him once and after that, Nisei never followed me again. That wasn't the worst part yet, or the most shocking. He had disguised himself as Soubi to my mother and drugged her. His intention was to get her to kill me, but she refused. She refused even after he promised that if she did kill me that Seimei would come back to her.

I had been so shocked to find out that my mother still loved me. The beatings and the screaming of hers that scared me and slowly killed me were because she still loved me. I knew it was twisted, but it was still a big thing for me. It meant that I had my mother's love even if I wasn't the real Ritsuka, her Ritsuka.

I didn't have too much time to be happy about that fact. I don't know when it happened, but it did. Seimei had ordered Soubi to kill everyone and since it was Seimei, Soubi did it.

He killed them all and then I was the last one left, but for some reason, I didn't feel scared. I felt hate and anger. There was so much of it in me for Soubi, but more for my brother. I hated him as I saw Soubi walking towards me.

I had tried running, but figured if I was going to die, I wouldn't do it the coward's way out. I would not fight him, but accept that I was to die and do nothing more. Seimei had won and Soubi was finally back with his master. I had no place in all of this, no place at all.

Soubi stopped a few feet away from me. He just stared at me as if expecting something from me, but I would surprise him this time. Neither of us moved, just looked at one another and waited. Waited for something to happen to end the anticipation of it all.

Soubi moved first and got closer to me. I think I had tensed up some because he stopped two feet in front of me. I broke the eye contact first and looked at the ground. I really didn't want to see the look in his eyes as he killed me. I wanted to see nothing as I died.

"Ritsuka look at me." He pleaded.

I couldn't look up. If I did, I would see the man that would kill me, the man I had slowly come to love in my own way. No, it was impossible for me to look at him after all this time.

He seemed to understand and stepped closer. I didn't move from my spot, but I was shaking. It wasn't from the fear, but from the winter air. It was cold out and I didn't bring a thick enough jacket.

I stopped all movements as Soubi touched my cheek with his hand. I looked up at him and saw a smile. If it had been any other time, I would've blushed, but tears welled up in my eyes.

"I'm so sorry Ritsuka."

"No, you're not. You never are Soubi." He pulled me into a hug. I wanted so hard to cry or something, but I hugged him back. "After all, they were Seimei's orders."

Soubi tensed making me chuckle. I had a sick humor to find anything in this situation funny, but then again I was about to die and I was waiting so it was expected.

"I don't want to do this."

I sighed before leaning against the wall again. "I know. You said that you wouldn't be able to back then, but that was then and this is now." I looked at him and smiled while stuffing my ice cold hands into my pockets. "Besides, you have to since it was your master who ordered you to."

"But you're my master too." He answered quickly.

My shoulders sagged. "No, I never was. Not like him." I spat, venom dripping from my words as I referred to Seimei.

He didn't say anything to me and I knew he found my words true. After all, I never was his real sacrifice. I was only his because Seimei ordered him to. I don't even know if I even had a fighter, and I know that I would never know if there was one out there.

"I don't think I can Ritsuka."

I felt anger boiling up within me as he said that. "Do it Soubi! Kill me like you did everyone else."

"No!" he yelled.

"Why not?"

"Because I love you Ritsuka."

I jumped off the wall and pushed him. "You love me? You love me! Stop with your lies." I guess I had startled him. He stumbled back with a shocked face. "If you loved me like you always say you do, then you never would have killed everyone. You wouldn't be here in front of me right now and you never would have followed Seimei's damn orders!" he flinched as I said all those things, but it was true. He never did love me, he just said the words with no meaning. "If you loved me, you would have found a way out of this with out any deaths or pain." I was out of breath when I finished, but it was worth it.

Soubi took it all. He took my yelling and my words, but I saw that he was shaking. "I tried! I really tried."

I laughed at that. Soubi and I could tell it was hollow, but I didn't care. "Sure Soubi. You tried so hard that you ended up following his orders anyway."

He didn't move, not even an inch. His head was down as if avoiding me, but that was impossible. "I can't kill you."

"Damnit Soubi! Just kill me already and put me out of my misery!"

His head snapped up and looked right into my eyes. I guess he wasn't expecting that either, but I didn't care. "What?"

"You heard me! Just kill me already." I yelled.

"No." he whispered

"You better! You've already taken everything from me and I have no reason to go on anymore."

"You do. You still have a reason to live."

"Really? What for Soubi?"

Silence filled the air. Soubi was stuck finding reasons for my survival making my point even more clear. I had nothing left to live for, not even to see my brother. He wasn't my brother anymore though.

"See? I told you. Now kill me." I spoke more calmly.

"No."

I had enough of him not listening of me. "Soubi you killed my friends, my mother doesn't love me as the Ritsuka as I am now! Also my brother Seimei died back then and what looks like him now is nothing but a fake. I don't have any family or friends left and you." I sobbed, covering my face with my hands. "You had promised to always protect me, but all those promises were empty just so I could trust you. Just so I could believe you."

"Ritsuka, please don't make me do this."

My body was shaking as I sagged against the wall once again. If I hadn't, I know for sure I would've have fallen or ended up in Soubi's arms. I couldn't handle being in his arms right now. "Soubi if you care for me, then kill me. If you don't, then I'll hate you and know that you are nothing but lies."

"No."

Apparently he didn't care if I hated him. I think that would make all of this easier for him if I did, but I couldn't. No matter how much he had hurt me in the past, I could never hate Soubi. Why? I don't want to tell myself why because if I did, I would never ask Soubi to do what I'm about to.

"Then make me a promise."

"What?" he asked confused.

I couldn't even believe I was going to make him promise me this since he never kept his promises, but this was the only thing I could think of and do at the moment. "I want you to kill me so that other guy doesn't." I said referring to Akame Nisei. "I don't want to die by his hands, so promise me that you will kill me right now."

Soubi's face was still as stoic and void of emotions as ever, but his eyes were filled with pain. "Ritsuka-"

"Let me finish. Promise me that you will and I will believe you. Please Soubi, for me."

"I don't think I can."

I was really getting annoyed with his reluctance to kill me, but it had to be done, or we would both suffer. I would have to live knowing that everyone important to me was killed by the person I trusted and he would have to see Seimei soon. "If you don't, then his other fighter will kill me."

It took him a few minutes, and I could tell he was struggling to accept my answer, but when he looked up at me he nodded. I don't know why I smiled, but I just did.

"I knew you couldn't say no to his orders."

He was shaking again, but it was the reason why I should be shaking. It was out of fear, which provided me some comfort in a small way. At least he didn't want to do this to me. "I don't want to do this Ritsuka."

"You have to, so finish it."

Soubi nodded as I stood up. He hugged me again and spoke a word so softly that I didn't even hear it. The only thing I did feel was him holding me up as I lost all feeling in my body. My lungs started to burn and my heart started to slow but Soubi didn't stop hugging me and only held me tighter as I coughed and gasped for air.

"I'm so sorry Ritsuka. I love you."

He set me down on the cold, hard ground and I got to get a good look at his face. He was crying. It was the first time I had seen him cry, and I have to say that I now believe him when he said he cared for me.

I reached my hand to his face and wiped away some tears. He grabbed it before it fell and held it to his face. He kissed it and kept repeating 'I love you'. Before I felt everything leave me, I had to say it just once. Just once I had to see him smile for me. I found that I wanted to see his smile more than him crying as I passed on.

"I love you too Soubi."

The tears stopped for a moment in shock before they resumed and everything went black for me. I just knew that Soubi kept crying. For how long, I don't know, but I hope he got it out of his system.

I also hoped that Seimei would get what was coming to him and that Soubi wouldn't suffer anymore, but I guess I would never know if my wishes came true.

* * *

I don't really know how it ends, just that everyone dies, so don't expect this to be the real ending...I got a reaction like that from three of my friends, so I'm putting this warning. 

Hoped you liked it! Kind of depressing and all so blame the song! Not me!

If you liked it, then please review! I would really like reviews to tell me if it was good or bad. So, please **review!**


End file.
